Looking back, I always wondered how people who went through so much hell, turned around and used it for their good. I questioned how they remained so strong, in spite of all the chaos that surrounded them. Until, I went through it myself. Everything that I went through, even though it hurt during the process, God used it as a tool for me to impact others.
A lot of people have this perception that christians don’t go through anything. They think that once we get saved, it’s a smooth sailing walk. Can I be honest with you? It was after I got saved that the attacks started coming. I’ve been through hell and back, but during the process I was reminded that God would never leave me, nor forsake me. I couldn’t see a way out then, but God turned my brokenness into my purpose.
There were seasons of my like that I was so broken I didn’t know how in the world God could use me. I was broken, bitter, angry, confused and everything else you can think of. I went through being molested twice, a suicide attempt, a humiliating and public breakup, being diagnosed with Lupus and the list goes on. You name it, I’ve probed it been through it. As angry as I was with God during that season of my life, he never left me and he never took his hand off of me. I didn’t understand why I had to go through so much hell that literally crippled me from ever seeing the beauty of it all.
I remember the nights where it seemed that my chest was caving in and my heart might explode. I remember the tears soaking up my pillow and my anxiety being through the roof. I remember being so depressed and stressed that I lost thirteen pounds. Sometimes God has to allow everything to hit us all at once, so that we can truly understand that he is the ONLY one who can bring us out if we just trust in him.
Writing became my outlet. I’d go through journal after journal. They were filled with prayers, questions and so many other things. I remember writing how I was feeling one day when God told me, “This is why I allowed you to go through went through.” He was using it pain for a purpose. If I didn’t go through any of those things, I wouldn’t have a story to tell or anything to write about. THIS tragedy (so I thought) is what birthed my destiny. It birthed my my blog, speaking engagements and more. It gave me the push I needed to be bold and share my story. I’m unashamed. I’m victorious. I’m more than more than a conquerer, because God says that I am.
I didn’t understand his plan then, but now I do. Is it always easy talking about what I’ve gone through in life? No, but I understand that transparency and vulnerability allow me to become relatable to others. So maybe you’re feeling like me? Broken, desperate and just feeling like your world is crumbling. God has a purpose for it all. So, I’m here to tell you that even in those darkest moments when it looks like there’s no end in sight, God is with you. Each thing that you go through is only molding you into who you’re called to be. Pain produces power.
About The Author:
“Hi guys! I’m Padishia Smith. I’m 23 years old & currently reside in Lynchburg, VA. My goal in life, is to make Jesus known and live completely poured out for him. God has created us as living vessels, therefore, we have the ability to carry things and pour them out into others. I have a heart for spreading my experiences, with hopes of helping others during their walk with Christ. I believe God has planted a passion and purpose deep within us, and there’s value in seeking after those things that give him glory and cause a stirring in our hearts.”
Padishia does a great job at providing real transparent content. Check out more of her work on her social media outlets and make sure to check out her blog site as well! Hopefully her testimony, inspiration and passion shines light on you as it does for many others.
Want to be featured next? Be sure to contact me through my social media sites or on The Breakthrough Official website!